After being released from the New York State penitentiary following a fourteen-month sentence for tax fraud, Ivanka Trump announces she’ll be joining the cast of the Real Housewives of New York.
New RHONY cast member Ivanka Trump says that her first job is being the best single mom possible as her husband Jared is away on business in Bahrain, totally not dodging extradition on a variety of fraud and corrupt practices charges.
Ivanka says her second job is defunding the police, though by “police,” she means the “IRS.”
To get to know the girls better, Ivanka invites them to a Passover seder at her Hamptons rental. With tears welling in her eyes, she tells everyone that it’s been hard because her father was “complicated.” The other women nod and tear up because, of course, their fathers were also complicated.
After the seder, for a bit of nostalgic fun, the ladies drink wine and watch The Wizard of Oz together. When the Wicked Witch of the West dissolves, Ivanka remarks, “That’s a shame.” The other housewives exchange raised eyebrows, then shrug, then drink more wine.
At Barre class in Midtown Manhattan, Ivanka Trump is an object of fascination by the other women who say things like, “I wish my legs were that long,” and “It makes her look so much taller.”
When a hip replacement sidelines countess Luann, Ivanka steps up as a last-minute performer/host of the charity cabaret show to benefit childhood leukemia. She does a song and dance number to “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat” from Guys and Dolls. After the performance, fellow housewife Ramona Singer declares, “I didn’t know you were so fun!”
At the RHONY reunion, host Andy Cohen looks at Ivanka Trump and declares, “You look incredible… as always.”
Ivanka leaves RHONY after one season, divorces Jared Kushner, and does six weeks on Broadway in a revival of Cats in the role of Grizabella. The New York Times weighs in on the performance: “Ms. Trump is nowhere near the singer necessary to pull off the role, but her stage presence is undeniable.”
Ivanka Trump declares herself a candidate for a Senate seat from New York… as a Democrat. She is jointly endorsed by both Andrew and Chris Cuomo, the latter of whom says, “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
After serving as Senator from New York for two years, Ivanka Trump announces a primary challenge against President Stacey Abrams of her own party. Borrowing a slogan from those who opposed the presidency of her father, candidate Trump declares while pointing at a picture of President Abrams, “This isn’t us.”
Thanks to Republicans switching party registration or crossing over in states where it’s allowed, Ivanka Trump wins the Democratic Party’s nomination for President. President Abrams announces a run as an independent.
Democratic Party nominee Ivanka Trump declares a hologram of her deceased father, former President Donald J. Trump, drawn from his rally speeches from the 2020 campaign will be her vice-presidential running mate.
Serious conservative legal scholars will go on Fox News to declare that it’s clear that there’s nothing in the Constitution to prevent a hologram from being vice president.
At the Democratic National Convention at Mar-a-Lago, Ivanka Trump declares that Democrats are the true big tent party: “We’re the party of white voters and also not white voters, like pink, and even orange voters.”
According to a panel of CNN political experts Gloria Borger, Rick Santorum, Kayleigh McEnany, and Dan Bongino, Donald Trump Hologram vice-presidential nominee wins the vice presidential debate because of his superior energy and focus on economic themes that appeal to “regular” Americans.
In a three-way race between Democrat Ivanka Trump, Independent President Stacey Abrams, and Republican Donald Trump Jr., Ivanka Trump wins the presidency with 38% of the popular vote and 306 electoral votes.
Once inaugurated as the 48th President of the United States, Ivanka Trump declares an end to political parties, saying, “There’s only one party, the American one.”
Ivanka Trump’s brother, former Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump Jr. is arrested on charges of treason. Her ex-husband, Jared Kushner, is found poisoned in his Bahrain hotel room.
Following her first address to the United States Advisory Council (formerly known as the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives) on CNN, Van Jones says, “That’s the moment that Ivanka Trump became President… for life.”
President for Life Ivanka Trump graces the cover of People magazine’s “100 most beautiful people issue” with the photo caption, “President Ivanka on looking fab over 50.”