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All posts tagged
shopping
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January 23, 2024I Am the Balance on Your Gift Card, Unknowable, Eternal
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November 27, 2023Your Amazon Order of Reusable Metal Straws Is Currently on Its Way Via the Most Ecologically Devastating Route You Could Imagine
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November 27, 2023Items Your Local HomeGoods Insists You Need This Holiday
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November 24, 2023The First Black Friday, by William Bradford
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June 27, 2023Amazon Product Names for Famous Literary Objects
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May 9, 2023But Is It Bespoke?
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January 26, 2023Cormac McCarthy’s The Mall
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December 20, 2022Norse Mythology for Bostonians: Thor and Loki Go Christmas Shopping
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December 13, 2022We Are a Charming Small Business, We Sell Provisions, and We Refuse to Explain Ourselves to You
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November 30, 2022As the Oldest Person in this American Eagle Store, What’s My Duty in the Event of an Active Shooter?
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March 27, 2024Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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March 2, 2022Selected Negative Teaching Evaluations of Jesus Christ
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April 17, 2024The Boys Are Back in Town (for Johnny’s Funeral)
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April 17, 2024What I Thought My Life Would Be Like After Decanting All My Spices into Mason Jars
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April 16, 2024We Are Not a “School”—We Are a Hospital System with a Football Team
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend