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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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March 25, 2024The CamelBak Languishing in the Back of Your Cabinet Would Like a Word
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March 20, 2024I Am the New York Times’ Paywall, and If I Let Any Non-Subscribers in, They’ll Kill My Family
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March 8, 2024I Will Do Anything to Make This Movie Studio Profitable, Except Release a Good Movie
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March 5, 2024J. Robert Oppenheimer Is Gonna Party His Ass Off at the Oscars
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February 14, 2024As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
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February 7, 2024I Am a Boomer’s iPhone and I Will Not Be Silenced
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January 29, 2024I’m a YouTube Child Star, and I’m Probably Going to End Up President or Something
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January 24, 2024I’m “Flexible Instruction Day,” Formerly Known as “Snow Day”
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January 23, 2024I Am the Balance on Your Gift Card, Unknowable, Eternal
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December 27, 2023The Wedding Vows of Someone Marrying Their “Best Friend”
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December 20, 2023If Sam Wainwright Says “Hee-Haw” One More Time, I’m Going to Fucking Snap
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December 4, 2023I’m a Holiday Gift Guide Writer, and I Really Need You Pricks to Start Playing Backgammon
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