Articles by

Louie Aronowitz

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Louie Aronowitz is an award-winning writer, performer, and musician. He is very annoying, speedruns old Nintendo games, and one time stole Hans Zimmer’s lunch. Please hire him.

February 13, 2023

Candy Heart Messages After Elon Musk Buys Sweethearts for $44 Billion

by Louie Aronowitz and Patrick Coyne
June 29, 2022

First Drafts of Classic Movie Quotes

by Louie Aronowitz and Patrick Coyne
March 22, 2022

First Drafts of the Greatest Opening Sentences in Literature

by Patrick Coyne and Louie Aronowitz
October 22, 2021

Actually, Sandworm Attacks Have Only a One Percent Death Rate

by Louie Aronowitz
May 7, 2021

Gregor Samsa’s DIY Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

by Louie Aronowitz

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May 10, 2024

What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today

by Jared Bilski and Talia Argondezzi
May 9, 2024

Deciphering Your Daughter’s “MOM” Texts

by Dani Bostick
May 17, 2024

The Handmaid’s Tale or Harrison Butker’s Commencement Speech?

by Miriam Jayaratna
May 16, 2024

An Open Letter to Whoever Keeps Making My Wife Laugh on Slack

by Dan Herg

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by Adam Dietz and Troy Doetch
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Excerpts from The Believer:: Take the W: Entry Points

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